Saturday, January 7, 2012

New Me

Well, I'll give this another go. For the few that follow me, I would like to apologize for dropping off the face of the world wide web, and thank Aunt Kye for making me believe that people actually care about what I have to say. :) We've had a rough few months to say the least, and now that I can have a bit more optimism about things....I'm back to share my daily adventures with those I love.

So I will begin with summing up the last few months.... In March I found out I had Stage 3 Cervical Cancer. I had a pretty big tumor growing into my uterus and since cervical cancer is non aggressive, it looks like it had started while I was pregnant with Caine. Almost three years before. Treatment for this would have been Total hysterectomy with some radiation since it had spread along my pelvic wall. Over. Done. That's it. However, I didn't have medical insurance. make a long story short, I took a chemo-type drug to try to shrink the tumors. 1-2 injections per week from April until August. I lost my hair, some weight and every single bit of my optimism. In the middle of my treatment, Jerry was working 50 hours a week, and doing bouncehouses on the weekends, we moved my parents to East Texas and moved ourselves into my parents home, I was at home 90% of waking hours alone with four kids in 110+ heat, all while driving back and forth to doctors appointments all week and being sick my eyes, the glass was almost empty. I didn't have time to stop to be sick. I just had to throw that ball in the air too.  I was forgetful and cloudy minded. I was in hell. All while Jerry and I walked around and acted like everything was peachy, for the kids' sakes.  Summer was hard. But we made it through and School started. Tatum started her last year in elementary. Student council, choir, and she made first chair in percussion. That girl is pretty amazing. Grace started first grade and is already shining. Math is her favorite. She gets it. That, she did not get from me. And my Cash started Kindergarten. I worried about him. He's not outgoing like the girls..He's shy and sensitive and he' Cash. He's doing really well. It took him a while at first to get used to being away from me, but he enjoys it now. He still says to me every morning as he's getting out of the car, "I will miss you today Mommy."  :)   So that just leaves me and Caine, and we love it! We have a blast! I'm happy that he didn't get the short end of the deal being the fourth. He actually gets my full attention in these crucial years for most of the day. A luxury that I wish that I could have somehow had with Grace and Cash. It's turned him into a bit of a "mama's boy." but that's ok with me too. :)

So back in August I stopped treatments because not only did the medicine do it's job by shrinking the tumors, it completely took them away! Although they won't let me say yet that I am in remission, I can say that I have been cancer free for four and a half months! I now have insurance, and the next Then I can put this behind us. As the temperature cooled,  I regained my strength, and slowly started to regain my spirits. 2011 is over...finally. It's a new year, new goals, new dreams, new me.